"Certainly, an ethical will can be a wonderful gift to leave your family at the end of your life,  but I think its main importance is what it can give you in the midst of your life."                                                                     Andrew Weil, M.D. in Healthy Aging

 

A legacy letter may be the most cherished and enduring gift we leave behind. Consider this statement from a widower that appeared in Newsweek:

"No matter how close my wife and I were, no matter how much we loved each other, and no matter how many heartwarming memories I have of our togetherness, I don't have a tangible record of her heart speaking to mine. And how I wish I did...When Marion was alive, I never gave it a thought. Now I wish I had her words to read and reread...I have pictures — even a couple of collections of slides on videocassette. What I don't have...are her thoughts."

Legacy Letters. . . Ethical Wills . . . 

Think of them as love letters - written to our spouses, our children, our dear friends, our communities, our descendents.  These are the deepest expressions of our hearts, what we want to be certain our loved ones know beyond a doubt.  

Most often, people write legacy letters at transition times in their lives: facing an illness, a marriage, the birth of a child, in preparation for travel.  We can share them while we are alive and open the door to meaningful conversations that might not otherwise happen.  Or we can leave them to be read after our passing. 

Ethical wills are not legally binding. They can be a part of the estate planning process, prepared in conjunction with a legal will and a living will.  However, the ethical will is the vehicle to express the soul of the other documents, explain why you are leaving what and to whom, offer stories of special possessions or bequests. An ethical will can offer gratitude, request forgiveness, express preferences for burial or mourning.

A legacy letter can be more than a gift to the recipients.  It can also unfold a process for self-reflection, a life-affirming gift to ourselves.  It allows us to to take a long view of the life we have lived, choices we've made, and lessons we've learned. It is an opportunity to articulate the best from our life journey and how we want to be remembered.  

Every ethical will is as unique as each individual.  There are no rules to follow.   You may find it difficult to formulate the words that authentically reflect your innermost thoughts, wishes, dreams, hopes, and blessings. Together we will proceed through a series of questions.  I can assist in determining what to include and either record, write or edit a document which reflects the voice of your heart.  Like your life, your legacy letter can be a work in process.  As life offers new experiences and wisdom, the legacy you leave can take new shape.